Yes, there are many preferences as to how much hair a man should have on his body, but I’ll go out on a limb here and say that most brides prefer their groom to be somewhere between a bear and a bald guinea pig.

Let’s lay some ground rules for your manly landscape:

Hygiene reigns supreme

One of the main appealing things about a well-groomed man is that it indicates good hygiene. It doesn’t really matter what kind of shrubbery art you’ve crafted of your pubes if you smell like a water buffalo. What do wat buffalos smell like? Hopefully not you.

Size matters

You should experiment with what length works for your hair type. Try something in the middle that just looks like you’ve not neglected your lawn for a year, and go up or down from there. Too short, and you’ll be a prickly pear. Too long, and she definitely won’t notice your haircut. There are also awkward lengths in the middle, like where it’s not long enough to lay down, so you look like you stuck your finger in a light socket.

Also, finding the right length around your sperm dispenser could help you gain that optical inch, or, if you go too short, make you look like a prepubescent chubster. Many of us have made this mistake, and that’s OK. Just don’t make it on your wedding night. I recommend starting with a 4mm guard, and see how that suits you.

Don’t snag the bag

If you’ve ever cut your scrotum, you were no doubt worried someone was going to find you, bled out on your bathroom floor with a mangled sack and your hand clutching a razor. You might wonder if there are arteries in your scrotum. Three, in fact, but not to worry. You’re unlikely to get one. Just don’t get carried away and careless.

Lube

When shaving with a razor, as with many things, lube can make or break your session. A little trick I learned from my lady is that plain conditioner or lotion work as well or better than expensive shaving creams and gels. If it makes you feel better to buy the “good stuff”, have at it. Just don’t forget the lube.

What’s the best manscaping kit for a groom?

If you’ve listened to any podcast in the last couple of years with mildly crass content, you’ve no doubt heard about the Lawnmower. If you want the best, go with that, but I used a Norelco Bodygroom for years, and it was fine.